7 Signs You’ve Become A Toxic Person And How To Fix It

We often complain of toxic people in our lives, but we can as easily become toxic ourselves. It’s not a life sentence, though.

You can always shake off toxicity and improve your relationships with people. You just have to recognize the signs and make an effort to change.

How do you know you’ve become toxic?

1. You complain


About weather, traffic, your boss or toxic people in your life. You are constantly irritated with something or someone, and everyone else just has to know.

How do I fix this?

Changing the attitude takes time. Learn to ask a person if you can blow off some steam before you start telling him all about your problems. You’ll become more aware of the complaining, and breaking the habit will be easier.

2. You blame everyone but yourself


You only missed the deadline because you didn’t get the data from a colleague. You couldn’t have possibly made it to your friend’s party because your partner was working late. It’s not you, it’s them. Sounds familiar?

How do I fix this?

As cliche as it sounds, you have to learn to own your mistakes. Start by sharing the responsibility. Instead of saying, “It’s not me” say, “It’s not ONLY me”.

Read also: 13 People Share Working Tips To Shake Off A Toxic Partner

3. You rarely apologize


Even if you know you’ve made a mistake, it’s hard for you to bring yourself to say you’re sorry. And even if you do say it, there’s always a ‘but’. “I’m sorry, but you didn’t say you wanted it done today”. “I’m sorry, but my car ran out of gas”. Sorry, not sorry.

How do I fix this?

Apologizing is one of the most difficult things in any kind of relationship, but it’s crucial. Do you value your partner? Then show it. An apology is not about your humiliation, it’s a way to express your respect for another person.

4. You spread rumours


Who’s the daddy of your single colleague’s baby? Where did your friend get that weird tattoo? Why is your cousin divorcing her husband? You know the answers (even if you don’t) and you are glad to share them with the world.

How do I fix this?

You might be familiar with this rule. Before speaking of another person, ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, necessary and kind. If the answer is no, stay silent.

5. You are possessive


You want to control your partner’s every move. You are suspicious of unknown callers and new friends, and you bring up trust issues if they refuse to share much about them with you. You are not controlling. Not in the least.

How do I fix this?

You start by controlling yourself. Make small changes, like texting every two hours instead of checking up on them on an hourly basis. Admit to your partner you’re struggling with letting them out of your sight. Work out the boundaries together. Your relationship will be even stronger then.

6. You can’t be happy for another person


You are good at finding a silver lining to a cloud, but you aren’t so good at accepting there might be no cloud. When a person shares good news, you find something bad about it. Promotion? You won’t see your family for days! Moving house? It must be in a dangerous neighborhood.

How do I fix this?

Stop looking for a fly in the ointment, or at least don’t say about one out loud. Sure, there are a lot of things that can go wrong during any major change, but you have to learn to deal with the problems as they come up.

7. You manipulate people


You trick people into doing what you want by subtly influencing their decisions. They don’t even realize they are being played. Of course, you aren’t just doing it for yourself. It’s better for everyone this way. Right?

How do I fix this?

Ask people for what you want directly. Do you want your partner to take out the trash? Don’t make them feel guilty about it, just ask. Don’t just bring a kitten home and plead for another person’s sympathy. Be open with them.

Featured Image: 101 Dalmatians/Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

Sources: Psychology TodayInc, The Guardian

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